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    <title>D S M’s blog</title>
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    <updated>2008-08-26T10:39:14Z</updated> 
    <author>
        <name>D S M</name>
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    <id>tag:vox.com,2006:6p00c2252048e88fdb/</id> 
    <subtitle>A trip to the unsane</subtitle>  
    
    <entry>
        <title>A world off kilter... or not?</title>   
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        <published>2008-08-26T10:39:14Z</published>
        <updated>2008-08-26T10:39:14Z</updated>
    
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        <p>There&#39;s been so much weirdness in my world lately and tonight really just took the cake. Tonight has clearly demonstrated that the hand of fate can step in and guide people to certain places... to be there at certain times.</p><p>It&#39;s almost 4:00 and I just got out of the shower. The events of tonight left me feeling very needful of being clean, and in need of the solace one can only find in a shower.</p><p>My evening didn&#39;t start off too much out of the ordinary. Shortly before I left work though, I read an article on a local news site about three people (which has now been updated to four people) that had been arrested in a possible assassination plot against Barack Obama. I didn&#39;t pay that much attention to it because I already knew the nuts would be coming out for the DNC (which by the way, if you take a drive through Denver you&#39;d think DNC stood for DoNut Convention due to all the cops) but one of those arrested caught my attention - Tharin Gartrell. Through the local DJ scene and also a place I used to throw a club night, I knew a DJ that went by Tharin Roberts - could they be one in the same? Eh, at the time it was of little concern to me because I had to go meet up with the male half of my family for a late birthday celebration at Olive Garden. (The bday thing was pretty neat, but that&#39;s not why I&#39;m writing).</p><p>I got home from the birthday shindig (not sure I should use that word to describe it) and of course, I immediately hop my happy ass online. After tooling around the usual sites, I decided to visit back to the local news site - and with the story I had read earlier was a picture of the DJ I know as Tharin Roberts - it WAS him that was arrested. As I was texting some friends that also knew him, they updated the story with more information and a quote from the bar/club owner where I used to throw my night. The guy is from Latin America and was basically commenting that he would find it odd that anyone would think Tharin didn&#39;t like non-whites (the news is speculating that him and his cohorts have ties to white supremecist group(s). http://www.9news.com/news/article.aspx?storyid=98343&amp;catid=188</p><p>I got the wild idea to go down to the bar and talk with Victor (the owner) and also invited my friend Cas down, since her and I had been talking about getting together for a beer or two sometime coming up anyway. We both get there about the same time and are about to walk in when Cas got a call from her friend that another friend of her&#39;s had shot herself in her friend&#39;s apartment... Cas was obviously VERY upset (dropped her phone, almost fell over, etc) and asked me to take her to her friend&#39;s apartment (from now on, the friend with the apartment will be referred to as D). I help her over to my car and we head towards D&#39;s apartment.</p><p>When we get there, we find D sitting in the back of a squad car... (there were about 6 cop cars there at that time) - I had nowhere to park so I had to drop Cas, find a spot to park, then walk back over to D&#39;s street. By the time I got back, Cas had talked with the cop in the driver seat of the squad car - evidently they were planning on taking D down to the station because he was under investigation for homicide. Cas was confident that there was no way that could&#39;ve happened because she had been in touch with D all day (no opportunity), and evidently she also knew how severely depressed the friend that killed herself (I&#39;ll refer to her as A) had been for at least two weeks.</p><p>A couple more of Cas/A/D&#39;s friends show up to find out what&#39;s going on. They were talking and I guess that A had moved out of where she was living and was staying with D because of some shit that went down at A&#39;s old roomie&#39;s place (I won&#39;t go into the details). A&#39;s old roomie wasn&#39;t too happy and evidently left a hate note on D&#39;s door (for A) that was quite vulgar and threatening. So, theories were abound: did D kill A, did A&#39;s old roomie kill A, or did A decide to take her own life? Being that I don&#39;t really know any of them other than Cas (have met D on several occasions but don&#39;t really know him and had only met A maybe once or twice and didn&#39;t know her at all) there was no means of me passing judgement on anyone involved.</p><p>After taking statements from D, Cas, and one of D&#39;s neighbors, the cops finally decided that it was suicide. I guess (based on one of the detective&#39;s statements) that it was pretty evident as such, but they were doing due dilligence to ensure their findings were accurate. Even after this and being told D would be released to leave withCas and I (and a friend of D and A&#39;s that had stuck around and was REAL upset) we sat around for three hours waiting for the detectives to wrap everything up and for the &quot;body removal services&quot; to come take A away (great name for it huh? the detective really was trying to be sensitive when he expressed it as such though). Finally someone was able to go in and grab D&#39;s medicine and clothes, etc so Cas, D and the other friend could all go back to her place. Cas had said earlier she didn&#39;t want to do it (she has a keen sixth sense and she had a feeling she couldn&#39;t deal with the vibes she&#39;d get from the place) and no one was going to let D or his other friend go in there. I volunteered... but ended up going with Cas instead of going solo. I didn&#39;t really have much say in the matter, although I really wish I had not let Cas go in the bedroom where A did it... but we both went in there and I did my best to obstruct Cas&#39; view and to get things from the... problem area.. so she wouldn&#39;t have to. I know it was hard for her and will be for a long time... it&#39;s going to take me awhile to get the scene out of my head. It&#39;s just not something you ever expect to have to see/deal with. After we gathered all of D&#39;s desired things we headed outside to meet D and his friend and head towards Cas&#39; car (except D was driving himself straight to Cas&#39;) where we had left it earlier in the night.. From there I headed home, being sure to confirm Cas&#39; arrival at her place (and on my way home I got to see Federal Denver Mint cops chatting in the middle of the road along with about 5000 other police cars lining various streets and plenty of uniform police officers walking the streets).</p><p>The entire drive home I knew there was one thing I needed more than anything, and that was a shower. Even after the shower I almost feel like death is clinging to me. It&#39;s not really a scent anymore, it&#39;s more like a feeling. But at least taking the shower allowed me to gather my thoughts, at least in the slightest. The whole thing has really made me realize how fate can bring people together (and a whole lot more) so that everyone can make the best out of a bad situation. If it weren&#39;t for the article about Tharin I wouldn&#39;t have thought about Kazmos or asking Cas to meet me there. If she hadn&#39;t met me there, she would&#39;ve been with D when he discovered A... or if not, she would&#39;ve been at her house which would&#39;ve been too far for her to drive from to get to D&#39;s with the condition she was in. If I hadn&#39;t been at D&#39;s with Cas and D&#39;s friend, I think both Cas and D&#39;s friend probably would&#39;ve lost it completely. If I hadn&#39;t been with them, well who knows what fate I could&#39;ve suffered... but there was a reason for everything that happened tonight, very rarely do you see the finger of fate touch down so clearly.</p><p>I worry about Cas, D, and D&#39;s friend... but more for D and his friend than Cas, because I&#39;m confident she could never make such a selfish decision... but if something happens to the other two it could conceivably be too much for her. I wish there was more I could do at this point.. but I think the three of them being together will hopefully help bring them through this and help them keep their heads up long enough that the empty feelings A left behind can be filled by something/someone and keep them from making any rash decisions.</p><p>I have to work in less than four hours but have a feeling that I won&#39;t sleep a wink, unless exhaustion gets me over the hump into sleepdom. I&#39;m not really concerned about not sleeping or work, just more so hoping that I can wrangle my thoughts long enough to keep my own sanity. Tonight was definitely one for the books though...</p><p>hah, and here as I am about to wrap up, the EAS (emergency alert system) comes on with an Amber Alert. Abducted 5 year old, sounds like she was taken by her father? Sigh... I&#39;m going to bed before there&#39;s any more shit to fill this night.</p><p><br /></p>   <p style="clear:both;"> 
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    <category term="death" scheme="http://djdsm.vox.com/tags/death/" label="death" /> 
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    </entry> 
    
    <entry>
        <title>Fifty percent...</title>   
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        <published>2008-07-15T19:21:37Z</published>
        <updated>2008-07-15T19:21:37Z</updated>
    
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        <p><br />Is the amount of my department getting laid off between now and the end of August. In total, five of the ten people who are currently here are being let go either at the end of this month or the end of August. I am, I guess, fortunate not to be included in that number.</p><p>I feel some guilt that I am being picked to stay while others are being let go. Out of the list of people, here is who we are losing:</p><p>Nicole - Media Supervisor - recently hired (in the last 6 months) twin sister of our Associate Media Director, Natalie. She and her husband just recently started the paperwork to purchase a new house and also have a one-year old daughter.</p><p>Linda - Senior Media Planner/Buyer - she&#39;s been here 2 - 2.5 years. She is who I was reporting to directly for the client I worked on. However, shes&#39; been out on maternity leave for the last couple of months... we&#39;re not sure if she&#39;s coming back for a week before she&#39;s let go, but her last day, per the company, will be 7/31.</p><p>Regina - freelance Senior Media Buyer - she has been helping us with our media buys for the last few months while Linda has been on maternity leave (and also while Natalie was on maternity leave). While she&#39;s not an official member of our department, losing her will still have its impact on those who are left behind. I think her last day will be 7/31.</p><p>Haley - Assistant Media Planner/Buyer - Haley is my assistant that helps me with my accounts (and she also helps some other the people in the department as well.&#160; I had a good feeling she would be let go since I lost my assistant the last time we had layoffs. She does a pretty good job, but spends just as much time goofing around (if not more) than I do... which is something that&#39;s always kinda bothered me. Either way I&#39;ll be sad to see her and her over-emotional self go.</p><p>Robbie - Assistant Media Planner/Buyer - Robbie is our other assistant. To be honest, I figured we would only lose one assistant during layoffs, but we&#39;re actually losing both. Haley will be gone at the end of July and Robbie will be here until the end of August. Robbie didn&#39;t impact my work much directly, but with him gone there may be responsibilities of his that I&#39;ll have to pick up.</p><p>I know I should be thankful that I still have a job, especially with the way the economy is. However, I am really concerned of what losing all these people is going to do to my work load. I imagined we would lose 2-3 people to layoffs - not 5! Out of the five, two of them are the #1/#2 in the department - which means those of us below will have to handle all the bitch work that we&#39;ve had assistants for and also handle the assistant work the Director and Associate Director had the assistants handling. Really makes me nervous - I don&#39;t want to be working 15 hour shifts day in and day out - not to mention probably having to do weekend work as well. I am supposed to go to a show this Saturday and I&#39;m already considering canceling so I can come in and catch up on some stuff before everyone leaves. It just is not going to be pleasant.</p><p>On another note, I have some possibly exciting news... but I&#39;m going to hold off from saying anything until I know more about it. But it could definitely bring light to the entire situation mentioned above. <br /></p>   <p style="clear:both;"> 
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    <entry>
        <title>RIP Eddie B.</title>   
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        <published>2008-06-20T20:22:47Z</published>
        <updated>2008-08-26T09:39:51Z</updated>
    
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        <p>While I didn&#39;t know Eddie very well on a personal level, I would see him out at almost every single event I&#39;ve been to over the last 3+ years... probably longer than that though but wasn&#39;t aware of him much until I had met his acquaintance. The man was a dancing maniac, a lady&#39;s man, and the life of the party. He wasn&#39;t necessarily the type that I could ever see myself relating to closely, but knowing how deeply he touched so many of my friends and also knowing how great it was to say what&#39;s up to him every time I saw him... I know that I&#39;ll miss his presence in the scene.</p>
    
    
    

    
    
    
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                <div class="enclosure-asset-name"><a href="http://djdsm.vox.com/library/photo/6a00c2252048e88fdb00fae8c4beed000b.html" title="Eddie B">Eddie B</a></div>
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<p><span style="font-size: small"><br /></span>----------------------------</p><p><span style="font-size: small"><span id="ctl00_cpMain_BulletinRead_ltl_body">BENNETT,
EDWARD Edward &quot;Eddie&quot; Angelo Bennett, 25, of Denver, passed away June
15, 2008. Son of Frank and Carla Bennett; brother of Heather (Larry)
Reeder, Rachel (Chris) Barnes, and Sean Bennett. Also survived by wife
Candice Clark and by two nephews and a niece, as well as many other
relatives and friends. Service: Saturday, June 21, 10am, First
Mennonite Church, 430 West 9th Ave., Denver. In lieu of flowers,
donations may be made to Colorado CASA, 1490 Lafayette St. Suite 207,
Denver, CO 80218 or Colorado Coalition of Adoptive Families, P.O. Box
270398 Louisville, CO 80027-0398.</span></span></p><p>----------------------------</p><p><a href="http://www.rockymountainnews.com/news/2008/jun/20/johnson-eddie-b---king-of-the-underground/" target="_blank">http://www.rockymountainnews.com/new...e-underground/</a>
 </p>
<p><strong>JOHNSON: Eddie B. - king of the underground</strong>
</p><p>
By Bill Johnson <br />
Friday, June 20, 2008 
</p><p>
It was late Tuesday night and they were all standing on the sidewalk,
the overflow spilling onto 15th Street downtown, their still-saddened
faces lit by the soft glow of dozens of flickering candles.<br />
Now and then, someone would walk up to place a small bouquet of flowers
- roses, carnations, a lily or two - in the spaces between the candles,
before bowing their heads and muttering a few words.<br />
Clearly, someone had died. Such memorial displays have become
commonplace these days, mostly at the scene of car wrecks, fatal
shootings and the like. Few, though, are ever assembled at such a late
hour.
 </p><p>
What I learned, having pulled over to inquire into it, was there could not have been a better hour scheduled.<br />
This was, I found out, Eddie Bennett&#39;s hour, the near-midnight hour of
the day when he and those he surrounded himself with came alive, the
hour when for years he went to work pulling varied groups of young
people together for a long night&#39;s revelry.<br />
Very few of those standing in the street that night to mourn Eddie
Bennett were over 30. Make it 25. Some, I&#39;d hazard, were this close to
violating curfew.
 </p><p>
Yet there they stood, candle wax oozing and bubbling on the pavement,
more than a few staring up at the tall building that loomed before
them, undoubtedly envisioning the long drop Eddie Bennett took that
night.<br />
Denver police say they still have not figured out whether the
25-year-old man&#39;s fall from the top floors of the 42- story Brooks
Tower at 15th and Champa last weekend was intentional or accidental,
only that he was the second person to die from a fall from the landmark
high-rise in three years.<br />
Either way, to those who came to mourn him it does not matter. Eddie
mattered, they said. And his life should not be remarked upon publicly
or remembered solely by the manner in which he died.<br />
&quot;Eddie B.&quot; is how they all called him. Oddly, few knew much of his
personal and family life, even Jeremy Hoff, 25, of Denver, who was a
partner with Eddie Bennett for three years in Skywire Production Co., a
lighting and concert promotion firm.
 </p><p>
All that he knew of his personal life was that he was adopted when he was young. He never much brought up his family, he said.<br />
No, Eddie Bennett&#39;s life, it was explained, was devoted to Denver&#39;s
night scene. It was something that I, admittedly - or, for that matter,
anyone else who can remember Ronald Reagan first taking office - could
possibly know little about.<br />
&quot;I met him in the scene,&quot; Jeremy Hoff explained. &quot;We got close. We had a tight crew of friends who hung out and ran together.&quot;<br />
The scene? Your crew?<br />
&quot;You know,&quot; he tried to explain, &quot;the ravers, club kids - all the people who like electronic music and the clubs.&quot;<br />
He might have well been speaking Russian. He clearly understood this.<br />
&quot;I&#39;m talking about the electronic party scene,&quot; Jeremy Hoff said
slowly. &quot;Eddie was the king of it, who made people, whether they were
15 or 50 years old, a part of that world, a man who was accepting of
all races, all types of people.&quot;
 </p><p>
If you went to a club, an underground party, a rave, well, you would immediately know Eddie Bennett, he said.<br />
&quot;He would walk into a room full of people and put a smile on everyone&#39;s
face,&quot; Eric Soderlund, 20, explained. &quot;He was an artist, a very unique
person, a guy who touched a lot of lives.&quot;<br />
This was apparent in the sea of faces that swarmed 15th Street Tuesday
night: white kids, black, Hispanic and Asian. To them, those who
frequented this unfamiliar-to-a-middle-aged-man world with its
night-owl hours and language, he was a welcoming, pied-piper king.<br />
&quot;Look, you are never going to understand,&quot; Leah Hlewko finally said.
Eighteen years old, she had worked as a go-go dancer at a variety of
events Eddie Bennett staged.
 </p><p>
&quot;He was the glue that kept the whole crew together,&quot; she explained. &quot;He
united so many people who you would think would never party or even be
seen together. Because of him, I have met a million people I would
never have met, ever.&quot;<br />
He was visiting a friend that night, Jeremy Hoff said softly.<br />
&quot;Did he kill himself? That&#39;s the rumor going around. And yeah, he had his problems, here and there,&quot; he said.<br />
What he and everyone else has heard, he said, is that Eddie knocked on
the door of his friend&#39;s home on the 39th floor, that when he was let
in, he eased through and dived off the balcony.
 </p><p>
&quot;To the people close to him, who knew him, that story is skeptical,&quot;
Jeremy Hoff said. &quot;We&#39;re just not sure. It would make me feel better
knowing, but that story sounds just too simple.&quot;<br />
As the last of the candles began to flicker out, the few remaining
mourners began making plans to host a free underground party in Eddie
B.&#39;s memory.<br />
Though I understood half of what they were trying to explain to me, I left feeling glad that I had stopped. <br />
I&#39;m happy to be able share a few words about the king of underground Denver.
 </p>
<p>
</p><p>
© Rocky Mountain News</p><p><br /><span style="font-size: small"><span id="ctl00_cpMain_BulletinRead_ltl_body"><strong>Mr Edward &quot;Eddie&quot; Bennett   </strong></p></span></span><p>----------------------------<br /><span style="font-size: small"><span id="ctl00_cpMain_BulletinRead_ltl_body"></p></span></span>
    
    
    





        






    
    
    





        





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<p></p>    <p style="clear:both;"> 
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    </entry> 
    
    <entry>
        <title>This week has been evil...</title>   
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        <published>2008-06-20T03:33:33Z</published>
        <updated>2008-06-20T03:33:33Z</updated>
    
        <author>
            <name>D S M</name>
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        <p><br />Found out Sunday that an acquaintance of mine died... he was good friends with a few of my closer friends.</p><p>Found out Monday I wasn&#39;t one of the winners of the DJ competition I entered.</p><p>Found out Tuesday night after the candlelight vigil that my friend&#39;s daughter had been molested by her surrogate grandpa.</p><p>Found out my agency is resigning a bunch of business.</p><p>Found out reviews (aka possibly more money) are being pushed back until August.</p><p>Have worked a total of 39 hours already this week, still one more day to go.</p><p>Spent hours trying to get my dad&#39;s wireless up and running correctly on Sunday to no avail.</p><p>Got some otherwise disappointing news, but not quite as bad as the rest.</p><p>It&#39;s time for this week to end already.<br /></p>   <p style="clear:both;"> 
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    <entry>
        <title>QotD: World Series 2007</title>   
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        <published>2007-10-23T22:29:37Z</published>
        <updated>2007-10-30T07:58:39Z</updated>
    
        <author>
            <name>D S M</name>
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        <blockquote>
<p>What are your predictions for the World Series? </p></blockquote>
<p> As much as I love the Rockies, I can&#39;t say they&#39;re going to make a series sweep. My prediction? Colorado takes it&#160;4 games to 2. </p>
<p>Game One: Rox lose - too much time off, they have to dust off and settle down from the excitement of making the World Series... plus it&#39;s in Boston</p>
<p>Game Two: Rox win - they come to their senses and get back in&#160;their playoff groove</p>
<p>Game Three: Rox win again - first home game, crowd hyped, the rockin&#39; at Coors Field comes into play</p>
<p>Game Four: Rox continue their streak, Boston can&#39;t adjust to the altitude</p>
<p>Game Five: Rox&#160;lose - too much excitement about being on the verge of winning, over confidence, too much craziness at Coors Field</p>
<p>Game Six: Rox get a handle on things, settle down, and keep it from going to a game seven. Riots in Colorado. Me really hungover at work, if I even make it to work. Oh wait, I&#39;m already taking the day off since our last night at Kazmos is that night... muahahaha!</p>   <p style="clear:both;"> 
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    </entry> 
    
    <entry>
        <title>FURIOUS</title>   
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        <published>2007-10-23T18:32:00Z</published>
        <updated>2007-10-24T15:57:37Z</updated>
    
        <author>
            <name>D S M</name>
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        <p>I&#39;m am SOOOOOOOO mad right now.</p><p>I took a half day off of work yesterday so I could sit at home and try to get tickets to Coors Field for the World Series. Tickets were going on sale at 10 a.m. so I figured taking the morning off would give me plenty of time to land some tickets.</p><p>Well, the ticket system crashed and they halted ticket sales yesterday... they didn&#39;t announce that until 12:30 p.m. Half a day shot. And of course, I was concerned with that the rest of the day so I didn&#39;t really get any work done.</p><p>Finally, around 9 or 9:30 p.m. last night they announced they would sell tickets again online today starting at noon.</p><p>I left work, came home... I figured my internet at home is faster, PLUS if everyone at the office is trying to get tickets it might boot us all out of the system for having similar IP addresses.</p><p>Well, I&#39;ve already had the system timeout 4 times on me today... and now it&#39;s not even letting me back in!!!!!!!!!!!</p><p>WTF!!!!</p><p>Anyone that knows me knows how badly I want to go to the game and how much I&#39;ve loved the Rockies. Here it is I probably won&#39;t be able to get tickets. Some scheister on a message board I&#39;m on got tickets, and I know he doesn&#39;t give a fuck about them. WTF</p><p>I&#39;m so upset right now :( :(</p><p>Instead it&#39;s gonna end up only scalpers will have tickets and only people that wipe their asses with $100 bills will be able to afford to go. SO FUCKING MAD!!<br /></p>   <p style="clear:both;"> 
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    </entry> 
    
    <entry>
        <title>Post flood today-- intriguing conversation</title>   
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        <published>2007-10-19T02:33:22Z</published>
        <updated>2007-10-19T02:33:22Z</updated>
    
        <author>
            <name>D S M</name>
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        <p>Last night at Kazmos, my friend Tabitha showed up. She&#39;s actually been coming down just about every week lately. We sat down to chat for a bit, even though perhaps I should&#39;ve thought otherwise since she was a little toasty.</p><p>Tab and I have known each other for about... oh, 6-7 years. She and her (ex) husband used to live pretty close to my mom and would always have after parties... so it was handy to go afterparty at their place and then have a short drive to my mom&#39;s. In the last few years though, she&#39;s become a bit eccentric, especially when she drinks. In fact, later on in the night last night she caused a lot of drama for us all. Tab is bi, but leans towards women... well she confessed to Cas that she had a thing for her, and everything went down hill from there. (It wasn&#39;t because Cas was rude or anything.. it was just a major snowball effect).</p><p>Anyway, before all that drama, Tab and I sat down and started chatting. I think it all started with her asking if I had any love interests yet, and of course, my answer was no. She starts going into how she feels, and she doesn&#39;t know why or how, that while I&#39;ve been looking for this perfect match, there&#39;s been someone in front of me all along. I figure this would lead to her saying herself, since she has indicated interest in me in the past... but surprisingly she followed up the other comment with &quot;I don&#39;t know who it is... but I just have this feeling deep down that whoever you are looking for has been in front of you all this time.&quot;</p><p>I sat there and thought for a second, and my initial reply was that no one has been in my life this whole time, not even her. I couldn&#39;t really think of anyone. Then it dawned on me that I think she&#39;s right. It&#39;s something I&#39;ve thought on and of about for a really long time. I admitted that yes, there probably is someone out there, but she doesn&#39;t live here... plus I don&#39;t know how things would be if we were together. Of course Tab says &quot;who cares about the distance, just make it happen if this person is out there. Don&#39;t make the mistake I made and let them go.&quot;</p><p>It&#39;s just really made me think, a lot more than usual, about the person I had in mind. It&#39;s probably the damned biggest dilemmas I&#39;ve ever faced. Yeah, I&#39;ve thought about it before... but usually tell myself to stop because I think that if I were to bring it up she&#39;d just think that I&#39;m being silly.</p><p>I mean, we&#39;ve been there for each other through a lot, but we&#39;ve also had our ups and downs, even with our distance... what the hell does that mean? It&#39;s shit like that that&#39;s kept this fantasy just that - a fantasy, nothing more. There have been times when we&#39;ve each laid cards on the table. I can&#39;t say I&#39;ve ever really withdrawn mine, but she&#39;s withdrawn hers most of the time. Or perhaps her cards never were on the table, and it was just wishful thinking on my part. I&#39;m not real sure. I should just man up and go for it... but damn if my situation just isn&#39;t proper for such a move right now. I can&#39;t say that her situation is either.</p><p>I don&#39;t know, sometimes I think the whole situation <em>slightly</em> mirrors the situation in Serendipity (if you&#39;ve seen it). There have just been points in time that fate has brought us together at odd points, more together than normal. But things get pulled apart again... so wtf?</p><p>I&#39;d like to believe there&#39;s something there on her part and that the hot/cold that I get from time to time is perhaps her own fears over the whole thing. Or, it could just be she sees what we have as a really good friendship... which without a doubt it is. And I&#39;d hate to fuck that up. Are there cards in her hand, or is it just my imagination?<br /></p>   <p style="clear:both;"> 
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    <category term="confusion" scheme="http://djdsm.vox.com/tags/confusion/" label="confusion" /> 
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    </entry> 
    
    <entry>
        <title>Worried</title>   
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        <published>2007-09-21T07:07:21Z</published>
        <updated>2007-09-21T15:27:04Z</updated>
    
        <author>
            <name>D S M</name>
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        <p>I got a call from my dad about a half an hour ago checking to see if I knew where my cousin is. He was thinking that tonight was my night at Kazmos (which it&#39;s not, I do that on Wednesday nights) and maybe she had stopped by.<br />My cousin is out here from Iowa doing an internship and wrapping up school, so she&#39;s not too familiar with the Denver-area yet. They&#39;ve tried to call her and haven&#39;t been able to reach her yet, which isn&#39;t necessarily anything to freak out about because her service sucks out here.</p><p>One of the biggest reasons I&#39;m freaking out right now is because I had just woken up from a very weird, vivid nightmare about a minute or two before my dad called. Someone who I assumed to be myself was walking in darkened area, kind of like a cellar. At that point I was watching this person, almost hovering over their right shoulder. There were spiders and such (which if you know me, I hate them) but they were small so I continued walking. Then all the sudden a HUGE spider drops down from above... we&#39;re not talking a few inches big spider, more something the size of a small, fat cat. At this point my view switches from third-person to first-person and I&#39;m thinking to myself not to freak out, it&#39;s just a big, rare mama spider and it&#39;s not going to hurt me. The thing rests on my neck and I try not to panic... or maybe I&#39;m telling the other person not to panic.. it&#39;s not real clear. But almost immediately the spider begins to bite my neck and it&#39;s squealing... usually I don&#39;t really hear things in my dreams, but this one I did and I remember being startled by it. But this spider is squealing and digging into me or the person&#39;s neck and blood is gushing out, to the point that while I tell myself it&#39;s not bad, I&#39;m gonna be okay... I can hear my blood splattering on the wall next to me and feel it running down my neck. I start trying to pull the spider off me, but it wouldn&#39;t come off and I get to the point of almost blacking out from blood loss when I&#39;m snapped awake out of my dream. About a minute or so after I figure out where I am and everything is when my phone begins to ring.</p><p>It&#39;s the strangest, most vivid dream I&#39;ve ever had. To the point that here it is, over 20 min later, and I can still remember it as if it were a real memory.</p><p>&lt;We interrupt this entry for a cousin update: before I sat down to write this I called my dad back and asked him to let me know status because I wasn&#39;t getting back to sleep between a nightmare I had and knowing my cousin is missing... he just called to say she got back to his place and is okay&gt;</p><p>At least now I know my dream wasn&#39;t relating to her. A lot of time it seems my nightmares are a premonition of real-life doom, sometimes relating to whatever bad happened or just indicative of something bad is going to happen. Yeah, I know, you think I&#39;m full of shit and that&#39;s okay.</p><p>I&#39;m still freaked out about the dream, not because I am that frightened by it... but more of WHY I had it. It&#39;s still so vivid in my mind, and I very rarely remember my dreams once I awaken. I do know that when I woke up, the same side of my throat that the spider was feeding on is now sore, like the gland might be starting to swell a bit. I know I couldn&#39;t have laid on it funny because I was laying on the opposite side of my body. Some people in my group of friends have come down with strep, hopefully this isn&#39;t the beginning of my own symptoms.</p><p>Anyway, I guess it&#39;s time to go back and try to sleep some more... so much for getting a good night&#39;s rest for once. I even tried going to bed early, ha. Just glad my cousin&#39;s okay, and sorry for the gory details of my dream. I&#39;ll probably wake up after getting more rest tonight and have forgotten about the dream and this entry.<br /></p>   <p style="clear:both;"> 
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    <category term="cousin" scheme="http://djdsm.vox.com/tags/cousin/" label="cousin" /> 
    <category term="kate" scheme="http://djdsm.vox.com/tags/kate/" label="kate" /> 
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    <category term="premonition" scheme="http://djdsm.vox.com/tags/premonition/" label="premonition" /> 
    </entry> 
    
    <entry>
        <title>Didn&#39;t get the job... AGAIN</title>   
        <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" title="Didn&#39;t get the job... AGAIN" href="http://djdsm.vox.com/library/post/didnt-get-the-job-again.html?_c=feed-atom-full" />  
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        <published>2007-08-29T20:59:52Z</published>
        <updated>2007-08-29T20:59:52Z</updated>
    
        <author>
            <name>D S M</name>
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        <p>Dear lord... how many of these posts am I going to make?</p>
<p>I&#39;m a little frustrated right now to say the least. More frustrated than I am bummed out though, so I guess that&#39;s a good thing.</p>
<p>The first sign that the Vegas job opportunity was going south was when the recruiter who put me in touch with them forwarded me an email from the interviewer&#39;s coworker, stating that they thought I sounded like a good candidate but I gave the interviewer the impression I didn&#39;t want to move. I sent&#160;the interviewer&#160;an email saying that I apologize if I gave her that impression &amp; that I wasn&#39;t reluctant to move, if I were, then I wouldn&#39;t have wasted her time interviewing.</p>
<p>I guess the thing that pisses me off about the whole process is the fact I didn&#39;t once hear back from the interviewer. I sent her sample writing with a thanks, and I also sent her the follow-up/non-reluctant to move&#160;note on Monday and didn&#39;t hear shit.&#160;Didn&#39;t acknowledge receiving my samples. Didn&#39;t let me know herself I wasn&#39;t selected (the recruiter broke the news to me). She didn&#39;t do anything after we hung up on Thursday. Very unprofessional if you ask me.</p>
<p>I&#39;m sure that later I&#39;ll be depressed over the fact that I&#39;ve had yet another failed attempt and finding another job. But, at least I&#39;m pissed right now, it&#39;s better than beating myself up over the countless strikes I&#39;ve now amassed while trying to get out of my current situation.</p>   <p style="clear:both;"> 
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        </content> 
    <category term="failure" scheme="http://djdsm.vox.com/tags/failure/" label="failure" /> 
    <category term="frustration" scheme="http://djdsm.vox.com/tags/frustration/" label="frustration" /> 
    <category term="job interview" scheme="http://djdsm.vox.com/tags/job+interview/" label="job interview" /> 
    <category term="unprofessional" scheme="http://djdsm.vox.com/tags/unprofessional/" label="unprofessional" /> 
    </entry> 
    
    <entry>
        <title>Stupid Writer&#39;s Block</title>   
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        <published>2007-08-24T04:57:13Z</published>
        <updated>2007-08-28T00:42:35Z</updated>
    
        <author>
            <name>D S M</name>
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        <p>Every day I think about how I should attempt to update my VoxWorld on my new happenings, but every time I sit down to write it out, everything tries rushing out all at once. OR, I get distracted by TV and forget what I was trying to let out. Now that I said that, I decided to mute TV so it&#39;s not completely distracting... but my ADD always seems to find a way to prevail so we&#39;ll see how this goes.</p><p>I started writing a post on Monday or Tuesday about my previous week, including my birthday celebration at the bar/club where I promote. I even stayed up late for the sole purpose of working on it... but I got towards the end of it and realized it was nothing but a bunch of drivel that no one would even care about. I&#39;m half contemplating just going on tangents to get things off my chest (since at times I feel I don&#39;t have anyone to express my feelings to... or I&#39;ve spent so much time bitching to the few people willing to listen that I don&#39;t want to burden them with my stupid rants anymore) and just make the posts private, leaving anything that&#39;s actually digestible or worthwhile as a public post. Hell, I&#39;m already debating doing that with this post (making it private that is). But, for the sake of people knowing I&#39;m alive, I guess I&#39;ll leave it public.</p><p>Last night at Kazmos was pretty blah. We were doing another all house music night (which has proven successful in the past) but not too many people showed. Two of the DJs did some pre-drinking at a bar down the street because they have cheap tall-boy PBRs and came in pretty wasted already. They barely showed up in time for when the first guy was supposed to start heh. Anyway, their mixing was pretty poor... usually they&#39;re pretty righteous (LOL, I said righteous), but not last night. And, to top it off, they were red-lining the sound levels on my mixer. Not only is it bad for my mixer, it&#39;s bad for the house system... the last thing I need is the owner of the place telling us off because some of the DJs we booked blew the system.</p><p>I ended up going on last, about 12:30 and played till close - that gave me a little under an hour since we usually try ushering people out the door by 1:30. I had no complaints about this because I had a long list of things I needed to get done early at work tomorrow, plus I had a phone interview and didn&#39;t want to be completely and utterly mentally exhausted for it from being out all night (more about the interview later). My mixing during the set wasn&#39;t 100% perfect, but I think my track selection/set programming was spot on. I was pretty damn happy with it... too bad there weren&#39;t many people there at that point to hear it, including the other DJs that I booked. You&#39;d think they&#39;d stick around long enough to hear what *I* have to offer.</p><p>So, first thing this morning I get the things done that I needed to get done before noon... amazingly enough. Then I took some invoices I needed paid and got yelled at by someone in our accounting department. I can&#39;t say that it wasn&#39;t completely warranted, because it was, but it was just rough going through that after how hard I busted my ass to get all the invoices ready for her. The reason she was bitching was because they were invoices that HAD to be paid, and I should&#39;ve gotten them taken care of sooner... I just don&#39;t seem to have much time to get things like that done early, but then again if I stopped jackin&#39; around on the net at work I probably could. I wrapped up all of that just in time to head off to my car for my phone interview. I parked my car on a street and waited for the interviewer to call, only to discover that the street I was parked on wasn&#39;t conducive to talking with all the traffic. I was in the process of moving my car to a better spot when the interviewer started ringing, so I rushed into the spot, parked and answered. (She called me about 15-20 min after I was told she was going to call.. not sure if that was a blessing in disguise or if I should be like wtf?!)</p><p>To backtrack a little bit, I was contacted by an independent recruiter last week. He evidently found my profile on a website for a publisher that makes magazines specifically tailored to advertisers (pubs that specialize in advertising news and happenings). After playing a little email/phone tag, we finally caught up on Monday, and on Tuesday night he let me know that an agency in Las Vegas was interested in chatting with me. That&#39;s who was calling me today. The interview got off to an okay start, even though Kim (the interviewer) didn&#39;t sound real gung-ho about it all. I feel my answers were pretty good... but I wish she&#39;d delved deeper with her questioning. As I was countering with some of my own questions to her and she was replying, my wonderful, marvelous phone decided to drop the call. I immediately call her back and apologize for my phone and we resumed our discussion. She seemed at least a little peeved about it, which kind of surprises me... but oh well. At the end of the conversation she asked me to send her a sample of my writing. So, as soon as I got back to the office, I found a few work-related writing samples, zipped them up, and sent them over to her with a &#39;thank you for the interview&#39; as well as an additional apology for dropping the call, saying I should&#39;ve been more mindful of my service when I answered. I guess only time will tell what happens. Vegas isn&#39;t exactly a place I&#39;ve thought about living (I&#39;ve never even BEEN there), but I figured &quot;why keep myself in a teeny consideration box for new jobs.&quot;</p><p>Along with the work writing samples, I also sent her a bio I wrote up (that may or may not have been tweaked by our copywriters and then included) for a Request-For-Proposal booklet we were putting together for a new business pitch. I figured I&#39;d share it with anyone that was dumb enough to read this far:<br /><em><br /></em>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><em>I was born in Council Bluffs, and even
though&#160;I celebrated my first four birthdays in four different
states and lived in Belgium for six years, I will always be a
small-town boy at heart. I keep this small community mentality in
mind when working with vendors to maintain a benevolent relationship
with them on behalf of K\H clients.</em></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><em><br />After interning with K\H in Account
Service, I was whisked away into the world of media&#160;in 2005 to
assist with media planning and buying on the Colorado Lottery, the
Deadwood Chamber of Commerce, the Denver Metro CVB, the Denver
Newspaper Agency, Fiserv ISS and the Globus Family of Brands.</em></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><em>&#160;</em></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><em>I started assisting with the Pinnacle
Bancorp account when we began handling some of their media in the
Fall of 2005, and as the account has grown, so have I. After starting
with&#160;media&#160;planning and buying&#160;in Nebraska and
Colorado,&#160;we now handle media for Pinnacle Bancorp in Wyoming,
Texas, Kansas,&#160;Missouri&#160;and New Mexico as well. I work on
planning and buying in each Pinnacle market, specializing in
newspaper and&#160;rural market&#160;radio and cable.</em></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><em>&#160;</em></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><em>I relate back to my Midwestern roots
when constructing plans to connect with rural market consumers but
also have the knowledge to reach large-market targets. An internet
junkie at heart, my &quot;King of Google&quot; crown helps me to
delve deep into new markets and learn as much as possible about them
to ensure plan effectiveness.</em></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><em>&#160;</em></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><em>I demonstrated my buying capabilities
while implementing Pinnacle Bank&#39;s first Greater Nebraska cable buy
to cover their rural market branches. I also handle radio buying for
unmeasured markets in Nebraska and Wyoming. Additionally, my magic in
Excel helps not only to provide back up to my small market insights,
but it also helps track and manage over 90 print publications in 6
states.</em><br /></p><br /><p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I told her I included it so they could see a more fun side to my writing and also see information that isn&#39;t easily included in a resume. Keep your fingers crossed for me, I&#39;m not quite sure how I&#39;d handle crashing and burning on another interview. The earliest I will hear something will be next week since Kim and her boss are both out of the office tomorrow (Friday).<br /></p>
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